Tuesday, 13 April 2010

love what I do⏅do what I love

It is time to get my house back in order and reattach myself to this sharing caring blogging process. I had a crisis of faith about the whole thing since coming back from India. My creativity has been tocking away like a metronome & I've been working away like the shoemaker and the elves. 
But didn't want to share it *how mean and shellfish of me* 
I think it was the whole process of looking inwards and not being sure that I liked what I saw and thinking how frivolous my image making and making process is compared to the bigger picture of our existence and blah de blah blah...sometimes introspection is terrifying but I have now realigned myself to .this.is.what.I.do and acceptance is at hand and I am looking at using this 'gift' to change something about my approach to the universe. Sounds complicated right? Jeeez, you wanna stand here for a while. It's a cacophony of voices and ideas and on the verge of madness but I'm harmless enough. 
I just wrestle with why I do this and how perfectly everyone else seems to do it and to be honest how airbrushed it seems when the life I know is messy, dirty, smelly (that's the dog, not me), hyper, critical, argumentative and sometimes just like a box of fireworks that someone dropped a lit match into. 
Fizzing and squibbing into a blackened collapse.

And then I look at some of the creativity that is out there and I have to reattach myself to the community that is more honest than most of 'art' and say, "can I come back in now, it's cold outside?"

India and I, it's love. I miss it but actually it's great to be sparking off with stuff here and blogging and I? It's love too and although I can't share too much 'work' with you due to contractual constrictions here's some snapshots of life behind the hedge at the moment. 


the letters i wish i'd written said...

It's tricky not to get caught up in the whole bigger picture idea, but really, life and all that is in it, is made up of the small moments, doing the things you love and posting pictures of rhubarb and strawberries that will make people you may never meet, smile very broadly indeed.

louloulovesbooks said...

I think you should drop in for Rhubarb & Strawberry crumble. Don't be a stranger.
Love from Me

nath said...

glad to see you back here. and i am feeling similarly excepting the flexible spine and hot Indian memories. actually i really need to do some yoga, i hurt my back last week and it's still hurting now. anyway, anyway, anyway, here we all are, some more perfect than others, but i like it here becuase it and you are real.

lovely strawberries and rhubarb too.


chocolategirl64 said...

now that's coincidence:
I was sorting through my recipes the other day
and vowing to compile a new scrapbook as an heirloom:
a recipe for rhubarb and strawberry streusel attached to an email, sent June 2000, and an excited Lou sharing her first visit to Tate Modern:
that tells me there are little threads and connections that make this world a mysterious, sometimes overwhelming but beautiful place to share: ❤

louloulovesbooks said...

CG and now I loathe Tate Modern but am still cooking the rhubarb strawberry streusel...lost the recipe years ago but it's in my heart! And still in your papers. How lovely.
Nath..you're very real too...hope your back gets better soon and if you can squeeze any yoga in at all it will help and DO NOT SIT CROSS LEGGED ever. Except in lotus of course. Putting one knee over the other whilst sitting at a desk or computer might seem comfy but is terrible for your back. I don't even know if you do this but lots of ladies do and I am sent to tell you all to stop.!

suzie said...

this must be the month for the personal crisis of faith, seems a lot of it around blogland these days.

Sometimes it is very difficult to share....I can get very cagey sometimes about what I'm up to. Fear of all sorts from appearing frivolous in the face of what really matters to fear of having your ideas whipped from under you before they've properly fruited all play a part, for me at least.

Bottom line is as artists we have a duty of care to humanity. Without us and our self-indulgent 'gifts, introspection and frequent trips up our own arseholes the species would be far worse off!

Very intrigued by the sails in the wind :)

chocolategirl64 said...

*uncrosses legs*

Lizzie said...

I think Springtime makes us all re-think our lives to some extent. The "Spring Cleaning" germ affects us within ourselves as well as without.
Some introspection and "why am I, what am I, where am I" stuff is good for us; and you were bound to have a period of readjustment, after the wonderful detached-from-your-real-world time in India. Their real world can't be yours all the time, because then you wouldn't be who you are... but that takes some time to realise and accept.
I really loved reading your posts from India - it was like a holiday with you. But I am so interested to see what you post now you are Home Again....
So when you feel like sharing, I'll be stopping by to take a little look, if I may...

And I love strawberries and rhubarb! Should you ever feel like making your secret streusel recipe public, I will be a grateful printer-and-maker of some streusel!

Good to be getting to know you a little... x

louloulovesbooks said...

Lizzie, thank you for your kind words and you'll always be welcome here, no need to call first. I think the Streusel recipe is in Chocolate Girl's archives as I make it with a bit of this and a bit of that. She actually has the scientific version and if we harangue her she'll maybe post it for us? It is worth every effort and tastes like all is right with the world.

rebecca said...

I'm a bit late on response but....

In my opinion, doing what you love is always going to help the bigger picture more than going to africa and feeding starving children but leaving what moves you to do it. I think it's the only true way to make change in the world-- to 'move to the beat of your own drum', to borrow a cheesy phrase. Everything else gets lost in the constricts of time (that is, might LOOK like a good thing to do, but upon reflection might not be at all-- like that thing they built to help a village in mexico that ended up polluting their water supply and giving them all diseases. I can't remember specifics. Adios credibility.).

And anyway, you DO manage to convey the messiness of it all. And I don't want to cause you too much reflection (because it's always better to be IN your work than outside it looking in...) but I think that's one of the things that I love about your perspective on the world, and everything else in the universe too. I, of course, will develop a full blown thesis on this which I will only present to you when you show up on my doorstep. Bribery.

Love you Loulou.