Wednesday, 16 February 2011

ҩ loving the bones ҩ


I've joined a writing group. I normally have trouble with things that have group in the title, being a touch insular and having a fear of myself (autophobia-which is apparently cured by the almighty fix of yoga). 
But it is one of my new favourite things. Being in a group AND confronting myself. The panic subsided on meeting my fellow groupies who are now my new bessie mates in Mysore. I am becoming a belonger and whilst I resisted it for some time by sticking to my Essex ways I am settling into happiness and I'm rocking a smile big enough to light a small village in Nepal. 

It's only three weeks until I go to work in Nepal.

My new new fear is the power cuts that are daily occurrences there. According to my sources (i.e I can't remember who told me) the evening news on Nepalese television was read by candlelight in protest at 18 hour power cuts since the Nepalese sold their national electricity to India. A bit like pawning your lunch maybe? I curl into a panic at the thought of a) not being online b) not being able to read and c) not being able to see insects that may be hiding in corners before retiring. I am trying to convince myself that if I can manage to do a whole primary practise every morning and not die in slime on my mat, then I can cope with a little thing like that. But the time is looming for me to leave the sanctuary of my Indian mummy and I'm going to be going it alone in much more challenging circumstances. 

BIG deep breath. And smile again.

handfuls of words

Writing class is an exercise in making time to write, in a very informal setting. We each write a word on a scrap and fold it up and put it in a bowl for the middle of the table. There is usually cake, coffee and snacks too... Then one at a time we choose a word and we all set off writing inspired by that word for 2, 3, 7 or 9 minutes. 
And out the words cascade. 
I had no idea I had so many jumbling around up here. I can't get them out fast enough. They somersault out of my pen like kids set free at home time. 

Then the bit that I was really scared of happens. We Read The Words Out LOUD. I was actually terrified of this bit. After all, the words that we write have no rules therefore no structure so it's a little like laying your mind out on the page and if yours is anything like mine, it's random and hip hop, tangled and a bit sweary. But it's fine here round this table of secrets. No judgement, no criticism, no praise, just listening to the words that someone else wrote is a big pleasure. It's inspiring and comforting and even I can do it. In my best Essex accent! The various international accents are a pleasure to listen to. It's as though I am tuning into a world radio installation of beautiful words, stories and snatches of prose. I really love it. I never want it to end. I wish I could catch the readings in a shell and listen to them later.

a corner

It's similar to yoga practise (which you might have noticed I try not to talk about, attempting to hold something in, maybe something like my Mula Bandha!) The writing is similar in as much as it's a practise of sorts and it is changing the way I look at things once more. This is very good for me. I want to change. I am glad to see things differently. The idea of practising creativity instead of waiting for it to strike like a midnight thunderstorm. This is revelation. I recommend it to anyone wanting creative sparks. Whatever your speciality might be. This, I am sure, would work for anyone. You don't need to be a writer.


So, now I dream of writing and fountain pens and the sound of scribbling. And dare I say it, I am able to concentrate, focus, immerse and absorb my asana practise more than I was before I started this writing practise. Light is illuminating the dark corners here anyway.

knocked over by lilac blossom
lilac flowers softly fall

Sending a big smile from over here to all of you out there. Thanks for reading.


gill said...

I'm so glad you're having a great time! I look forward to reading more of your adventures

Rebecca said...

That's fantastic Lou - definitely signing you up to Women's Writing Wheel on your return ;)
Big hugs xxx

chocolategirl64 said...

I felt similar when I did an english gcse two years ago:
it's a precipice moment indeed:
but so satisfying:
what words did you give and receive that day?

Lizzie said...

India is such a huge adventure for you this time! You seem to be growing and learning by the week. I am so glad you are enjoying this growth time - it will help you when you go to Nepal.
I think you are very brave to do all this - I admire that bravery.
I agree that practising improves creativity... I should do that myself.
I wonder if practise also improves cleaning skills... hmmm..

Lucy May Schofield said...

Oh Lou, what a pleasure to read your happenings in INdia. Thank you. As you know you always fed my inspiration well and nothing's changed. I am with you there giving you a hug and a cuppa and will be brave if you are x x x x x

Lya de Putti said...

Oh how I love the idea of capturing words in a shell and listening to them later. Just beautiful x

a damsel in distress said...

thank you so much for sharing this. it is so beautiful.
big hugs to you!!
Ps: would love to be there with you and Pushpa